8.11.2011

Roles

I think I pissed off one of my sister's friends.

That's not to say that I don't piss a lot of people off daily, it's just that really, the last thing I want to do is get into any type of tussle with my sister's friends.  She wouldn't really like that.  She was a peacemaker.

But the problem with being a wordsmith is that sometimes, you create fine works of art, and other times, people are like, "WTF is that?"  Guess I had a moment which involved the latter.  Someone thought I was dissing their mother.

Now, really, I am mostly beyond that kind of grade school childishness (not totally...I mean, I think that there's at least a person or two who I'd probably tell the officer my foot slipped and I hit the gas instead of the break when I saw them crossing the road), but the mention of the person was moot.  I was referring to the obstacle and trying to emphasize the way my sister overcame it.  The obstacle happened to be a person.

Now, I wasn't disparaging, all I did was state what I believed to be fact.  Hell, what my sister told me was fact.  But after some talking, I think we got this stuff straightened out.

But the long and short of it is that in life, sometimes we are Teachers.  Sometimes we are Students, and sometimes, unfortunately, we are the Cat's Paw of Fate and just an incident in the long strings of A Really Bad Day.

SO...that being said, try not to hold grudges.  Both the good AND the bad make us who we are.

8.04.2011

Changling

The gist of the stories regarding changlings is that children are stolen away by the faeries and replaced with faerie creatures which look like the children, but really are nothing like the children at all.

Some days, I really feel that way.

It's been over three months since my stepbrother and sister passed away and I really have written much of anything.  It's not from lack of desire, but there are some things I don't think people can ever really find the words for.  And until then, as I spend time with my mother, my sister's smiling face beams at me from various pictures throughout the house.

I am finally reunited with my family after four months of solitude.  I find great comfort in them.  My family is my husband and two children, but our unit now includes my best friend (to my delight, deciding to return to our old stomping grounds with me) and my mother (who, after five years of taking care of my terminal sister, decided she did not want to live alone).  It's a little crowded, but I think that everything will work itself out.

Over the course of time, it has been rough.  For one reason or another, I've chosen to stop talking to 'friends' of mine.  I think that I finally just come to the realization that in my friendships, I give too easily and too much - I worry too much and I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I got to the point where I'm just tired of getting stepped on, stomped on, lied to and treated like I'm stupid.  So.....I think that my focus is now just going to be on my family.  So if you feel a little neglected, can't help that much - just know that I'm trying to do what's best for me.

After the insurance change, I've had some other complications arise.  I have an appointment with a new surgeon tomorrow, and we'll see what's going on there.  I'm scared, but then again, why shouldn't I be?  I'd rather pick and choose what I'm going to have my complications in old age from as opposed to have them just happen to me.  But we'll see.  I still have time to make the decisions.

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