Day of the Dead - post mortem?

I've had the unusual blessing of being able to witness various traditions when it comes to this time of year.  October is generally Harvest Moon, Wolf Moon, and the time is marked as the time when the 'veil between the worlds is the thinnest'.

I lost two people I loved about a year and a half ago, and I have always been an individual that prefers to deal with my own personal griefs in private.  So recently, this has become a very strong, personal thing for me.  

The Sumerians introduced me to Eereshkigal and Nergal, and the festival of Nattig.  Following the descent of Inanna was perhaps the first time I was ever able to really begin come to grips and understand death.  As the demons followed us in the darkness of the unknown(demons are neither good nor bad, they are spirits, unhuman creatures in Sumerian mythology), unseen and untouched, only heard.  It was an amazing experience.

The sum of the experiences for me of this 'end of the growing year', the time of the Dead, is learning the understanding that Death comes for us all, Death is no respector of persons, and whatever our struggles and challenges, it is all part of our natural course.  We should not have to fear death, we should have a healthy respect of it.  Death touches every aspect of our lives, and most of the time, we only see it when someone passes in such a way as they go to the grave.  There are a million deaths which touch us, that most do not consider.  The death of a way of life, the destruction of an idea, even the passing of a friendship.  We must take a moment to consider these deaths, mourn the passings in our own way, and then rebuild our lives and move on.

I've had a lot to mourn over the past few years.  I have had some very radical job changes, moved across the state, lost relationships, friendships that I had believed were steadfast, and dealt with the deaths of my siblings.  It's been a lot, and there are times that I have felt apathetic, and other times where I was so crazy-feeling that I lashed out at those close to me.  I hope that I have repaired things where I could, and where I couldn't, well, I hope the best for those I parted company with.  Maybe the death of one thing will lead to the birth of something new, or the rebirth of something old.

So as the cold of winter creeps across the land, laying waste to the green things....as the wild Hunt roams the darkness, know that in the deepest of the cold, the deepest winter...that somewhere in the darkness, is the spark of hope.  The tiny light.  The promise of the return of the sun.  The promise of life, even after death.

September is over.

September is over, which brings forth cooler tidings and seasonal changes.  It's weird how I feel like it's been forever since I've been cold (the mornings here in Houston have been cool), but how it feels my sister and stepbrother disappeared not too long ago.

I thought that this month would be easier, being that my sister's birthday was last month, but it's not.  Not really.  I'll be 35 this month, and after April, I will have exceeded my sister's lifespan.  It's kind of a depressing thought, so frankly, I'm not really looking forward to my birthday.  I find it just easier to take it a day at time.

I have, however, decided in all these things, over the past few months, that I wanted to embrace my spirituality more fully.  A part of that came along in the decision to open the shop.  The decision stills scares the hell out of me, but it has always been something I've wanted to do.  And frankly, life's to short to wait around dreaming of things instead of doing  them.

I find myself among old friends again.  Moving forward through life is fine, but if you are moving just to move, you much resemble the card the Fool, with common sense nipping at your heels.  It's great to have new experiences and make new friends, but we are creatures of limited space and time, and we should not let our  past be forgotten.  I think that some people would say that circling back is some sort of pattern that needs to be broken.  I don't see it that way.  If we weren't meant to have cycles, there would be none.  And just because I have certain cycles, doesn't mean that others don't have different types of cycles.  The idea though is to spiral upwards, not just chase your tail.  As for my old friends....well, time and hardships can change a person, do they not? But the hope is that whatever was fundamental about them that brought you closer to them doesn't change.  That is, anyway, the hope.

The death season is upon us, and with death comes new beginnings.  I hope that they are the best to come.