I have to get this thought off my chest.
A couple I know are in the process of getting a divorce. More specifically, she wants a divorce, he does not. She filed. He argued. And two weeks thereafter, he asks her for sex. She says know.
Now...logic prevails to me that if she didn't want to be married to him, what would make him think that she wanted sex from him?
So he begins to bang on about how it is her 'martial duty' and that he could take it if he wanted to, regardless of whether or not she agreed, because she married him and it was his right.
HELLO? Ever hear of the word RAPE?
Now, gentlemen, regardless if you are married or not, if you force yourself on someone without their consent, it IS rape. Rape. Rape. Rape. There is no justification you can give me for it. I will not accept anything. You are forcing something on someone against their will. RAPE.
So, of course, what respect I've tried to have for this individual plummeted with an audible whistling noise that probably is akin to the sound of someone falling into an abysmal, bottomless pit.
And he says actions speak louder than words. He hasn't done anything. Not that he didn't imply that threat, but if we're speaking of actions, him hopping on the hood of her car, him stealing her battery to her cell phone, going through everything of hers and then trying to get her to make him food, do his clothes, and clean while she works and sits around and plays on the computer/Diablo all day speaks volumes, doesn't it?
We live here as a tribe. When we moved in, we moved in with a man, woman, and child. Our little group consists of my husband, my two kids, and my best friend that I've known from junior high (yeah....almost 20 years...). It was stated that when we moved in, we were a package deal. The house was big enough, they needed the money for the bills, so everything was kosher.
Three days after we move in, all hell breaks loose. She tells him to 'get out', and it's pretty downhill from there. Well, of recent, he as taken aside my friend and told her she needs to leave and that she have fifteen days to move out.
He called her out of the blue last night, in the middle of the night. She's been paying bills and buying food like the rest of us. He already approached me with the idea, which I shot down. "She goes, then we all go," is what I told him. So about a week later (last night), like a sneak-thief, he tells her she has to leave. On the phone. In the middle of the night when she's not even home (and he's on break at work).
(I can still hear the whistling sound.)
Actually, by telling her to leave, he's violating his restraining order because he is financially encumbering the household/realty. She doesn't want to leave, but is in fear of what he might do to her furry little children. For all the acting out he's done, well, I can't say she's not justified in her thoughts. She can't afford to really be out on her own and leave, but the situation around here is getting tense.
I really wish he'd just go. Not that I wish him harm or that anyone wants to screw him. It's been this way from the onset - trying to get him to go amicably and split up what's in the house that was theirs, have a working relationship which enables them to share joint custody of the child.
He has fought every thing every step of the way.
So now it looks as if it has to get ugly. There's not a lot of help for it. Till then, I'm stuck in this strange and twisted hell that one individual has inflicted upon an entire household. Hopefully things will play out for the best. And if she really DOES go (my friend), well, I'm not long to follow, I'm sure.
I cannot respect a person who wants to lord and master over another. I cannot respect a man who treats a woman (or anyone else for that matter) as if they were property. Or servants to be bossed about. Or children to be punished. I cannot respect a person who tries to flex authority for the mere sake of being able to show clout, causing angst and strife just because they are upset they didn't get their way elsewhere. That archaic, backwoods mentality should have been left behind in the last century, and more the better.
So we will see what happens. Till then, I'm really rather pissed off.