the fractal of life

I walk through the kitchen and there's a cat hanging out in the dishwasher. Oddly, this doesn't phase me in the slightest. I continue heating my dinner and trying to catch a hold of the epiphany that I had earlier today.

I commented on someone about the inter-connectedness of thoughts, and how one thought can race to another at light-speed. But it also makes me recall a debate I had last week that there is something and the space between it is nothing.

As I was ironing my work shirt early this morning, it came to me this morning that it can't possibly be true.

Because if it were nothing, it got named. If it has a name, it's SOMETHING, even if it's nothing. At the smallest level, the microcosm, the gap between the nucleus of an atom and the electrons surrounding it....

Someone might argue that there is nothing there. But if you call it a gap, if you call it nothing, if you call it space, if you call it air....you've given it a name, which makes it something instead of nothing....

So if you apply this microcosm/macrocosm approach, it isn't even a 'circle' of life. It's an endless, psychedelic fractal. Seriously. Because it's far too complex to be a circle, but simple enough to be patterned.

I don't know if I can explain it proper. But it made a lot of sense this morning, before the sun rose and the coffee was even peculating.

I am both fascinated and disgusted by the cat laying in the dishwasher. I hope it doesn't clog the dishwasher drain.



In November, I'll have been married 13 years.

Hasn't been all roses, but I assure you, that the quality of my relationship probably makes a lot of others pale in comparison. Why, do you ask? Let me explain some things.

When we got together, before we even got married, we laid out some ground rules. The first is that we'd never call each other out of name. Meaning, even at the most heated portions of our fights, the words, "You're being a bitch/asshole" have come out of our mouths, but never "You ARE a bitch/asshole". To the both of us, there is a vast amount of difference there. The difference is respect. If you're a friend or a loved one, when someone's acting a fool, only a friend or someone who loves you can get up enough compunction to tell you you're screwing up. Everyone else just lets you screw up. But a person who CALLS you a name that isn't 'nice', well they don't have a lot of respect for you, do they? And if they can't respect you as a person, they sure the hell can't respect your opinion.

One of our other rules is that we don't lie to one another. Not even white lies. You think I jest? Lying totally screws trust, and if you don't have trust, you don't have much of a relationship. So....frankly, we have omitted portions of the truth or let it go untold, but we don't flat-out lie to one another (some people might think there is no difference, but to us there is significant difference....). If you don't tell me something, shame on you for not disclosing the whole situation. But if you tell me something and I can't trust you at your word, what good is our relationship?

The third is that we have never laid hands on one another. And I don't mean healing. I think that our childhoods were probably a little more rough-and-tumble than they should have been, but I have seen people take things out of hand, and once you lay your hands on someone in anger, habits form. The force seems to escalate. We have NEVER, in the 13 years we've been married, even pushed one another in anger. (Now I can't say I've never thrown anything at him, but the intention wasn't to hit him. And I can tell you, when you have a small case of beadery explode next to your head, it will certainly get your attention. Not one of my better moments, but it accomplished what I set out to do.)

Those two things I think have been fundamental to the survival of our relationship. There were several people who didn't think we'd last the first three years, us being young and 19 when we got married.

Oh, how wrong they were.

Funny enough, I probably got more offers for extramarital affairs than I cared for. That is saying, after I got married, seemed like everyone crawled out of the woodwork and offered to sleep with me. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was the draw of 'forbidden fruit'. Maybe life didn't turn out the way it seemed for them. But as far as I was concerned, I was married, and by the gods (BEFORE THE GODS), I was going to keep my word. At least two incidents I can remember, I jerked a guy up short trying to kiss me, telling him I as a married woman and thank you if he'd keep his tongue in his own face so I don't have to lop it off. In my eyes, willingly kissing someone else (meaning more than a friendly or loving peck) and you're stepping outside your commitment. Let's lay down the law....if you place a TOE in a building you've forced your way into, the judge will STILL call it B&E. Promise.

I got married. I took vows before the Gods. Firstly, I would be covered in shame to break a vow to my husband. Secondly, I'd be mad to break a vow that I swore in front of the gods. Seriously.

These are MY feelings, and they're mirrored by my husband. I mean, he was a trucker for a while. If someone had told me that when he was out trucking that he'd cheated on me, I'd laugh in their faces. He's not built that way and he carries the same sense of honor as I do. Even if he had been completely pissed off at me, he would have still honored his vows. Same here.

By the same token, I suppose I expect much of others. I cannot say I haven't been let down. A lot. But the idea comes from the fact that if I can, as crazy as I am, live up to these things, the people that I love and think much of should have the same kind of 'sterner stuff' as I do. Not necessarily true. So...I generally don't hold it against them, but I find the older I get, that if they can't live up to at least half of my determination and honor...I really don't need to waste my time on them.

And it's not to be ugly, it just that we don't have a commonality. There are certain thins that mean a LOT to me, and if they mean little to them, how do I expect them to keep up with me? They...can't, really. We're just too different, I suppose.

That goes along to the tune of 'with a fool no season spend, least you be counted as his friend', I guess. If my husband were to drop dead today, any guy/friend that I have ever known, if they'd EVER cheated on their wife/girlfriend and had the foolish notion to confide in me over it, had they been candidates for relationships they were immediately moved to the bottom of the list. Any person who would maliciously act out at someone (yeah, he broke my clock so I slashed his tires) goes to the bottom. Any person that steals knowingly (which includes office supplies, people...a thief is a thief is a thief....) is not even up for any consideration.

Anyway....the side bonus was telling you about how cool my marriage is. But the main point of this blog was the idea of 'oathbound'. Let me get to that.

The idea isn't the pleasure of keeping a secret for a secret. The idea is being able to keep promises. To make commitments and stand by those commitments. It is a gauge of strength of character. Of determination. Of devotion and dedication. Ideally, (and I am forever the idealist) I think that it represents a people with that kind of character throughout every aspect of their lives applied, which is to say that they give their word and they live by their word.

It doesn't have to do with keeping super-secret information. It has everything to do with loving and trusting the people that you're practicing magic with. It's a different level of intimacy, but intimacy nonetheless. And in that intimacy is the same high standards, the same level of respect, commitment and trust.

So now...before you go flapping your gums about how wrong it is for those Traditionals to keep their secrets. Before you rant on about their elitism or call them names over the fact that they're so tight-lipped....instead of dwelling on what you don't know, how about you take some context clues on what their behavior tells you.

How could you want anything but that kind of commitment?


About October.....

"October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February." - Mark Twain

October Flower:
Calendula - The Calendula represents grief and jealousy.

Libra - September 23 - October 22
Scorpio - October 23 - November 21

Birthstone: Opal (Traditional - meaning Hope)
Tourmaline (Modern)

Today is:
* Homemade Cookies Day
* World Vegetarian Day

This week:
* Fire prevention week.

Your month-long observances are:

* Clergy Appreciation Month (Pastor Appreciation Month)
* Computer Learning Month
* Cosmetology Month (National, US)
* Country Music Month
* Crime Prevention Month
* Dessert Month (National US)
* Dinosaur Month
* Drum Month (International)
* Energy Awareness Month
* Family History Month
* Fire Prevention Month (National)
* German American Heritage Month
* Hispanic Heritage Month (September 15 - October 15)
* Kitchen & Bath Month
* Magazine Month (American)
* Pasta Month
* Pastor Appreciation Month (Clergy Appreciation Month)
* Pickled Pepper Month
* Pizza Month (National
* Polish-American Heritage Month
* Popcorn Poppin' Month (National)
* Pretzel Month
* Rollerskating Month
* Sarcastic Awareness Month (as if!)
* Sausage Month
o Source: Click Here
* Seafood Month
* Stamp Collecting Month (US National)
(Since 1981, October has been officially designated as National Stamp Collecting Month. It is an annual event that began in 1981 as a joint venture of the Council of Philatelic Organizations and the United States Postal Service. American Philatelic Society: www.stamps.org)
* UNICEF Month
* Vegetarian Month
* Breast Cancer Awareness Month
* Eye Injury Prevention Month
* Celiac Disease Awareness Month
* Chiropractic Month
* Dental Hygiene Month
* Disability Employment Awareness Month
* Domestic Violence Awareness Month
* Down Syndrome Awareness Month
* Halloween Safety Month
* Healthy Lung Month
* Let's Talk Month - Advocates for Youth
* Medical Librarians Month
* Physical Therapy Month
* Sarcoidosis Awareness Day
* Spina Bifida Awareness Month
* Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Awareness Month
* Talk About Prescriptions Month

And - Breast Cancer Awareness Month - Squish a boob!