Most people who are interested in magical studies understand how powerful words are. They clarify our thoughts, hone our will, and help to resonate our intentions. When we raise our voices in song and chant, especially among our kin, we create great power.
But what about the power within ourselves? The things which create us?
Some things that have drawn me to a more traditional approach are the ideas of honor and integrity. These things have always been important to me and my life, and I find that it is not always so in the general pagan community. The more people I have had the fortune to meet in the traditionalist, the greater respect I have for them, particularly for the things that I am seeing develop - along the lines of what they hold near and dear to their heart (which makes me at least glad it mirrors my own).
As a seeker, coming forth, if I feel that there is a possibility to create relationships among traditionalists (as in, potential 'matches'), I am as completely honest and forthcoming as I can possibly be. I ask questions, and I very gladly invite questions. If I am vague about my answers (not intending to be, sometimes I really just don't clue in on what they're asking! LOL), then generally, I've seen them jump right in and ask very specific, pointed questions. I respond in the same way to the vague answers that I am given.
BUT...being the outsider, you have to have give the respect. If someone says, "I can't share that with you, it's oathbound", then that's understandable. Pushing any further is disrespectful and frankly, it's the fastest way to get the door slammed in your face.
I look at it the way I look at inviting people into my house. Not just anyone comes into my home, because I don't want them to bring along their 'baggage'. My home, albeit a bit disorganized, is a peaceful place and I don't want just anyone mucking it up. Plus I have children. Part of my evaluation on whether or not I let someone enter MY home is, "How will they effect my children?" My hearth is sacred.
The 'spiritual hearth'? Just as sacred.
If you don't believe me, invite a hobo to come stay the night at your place. It's about the same principle.
The biggest thing about that 'openness' is HONESTY. I can't stress that enough. Magic is a very personal, intimate thing. If I can't trust you at your words, most likely, I'm not gonna circle with you either.
There are 'friends' that you have from work, and there are 'friends' that you know your entire life. My dearest friends have no problem snoozing in a bed next to me or even sharing Listerine and a toothbrush (last resort, I assure you!) without too much incident. But there are some friends that do require their own sleeping quarters or at least an inflatable mattress on the floor. There are some you can change clothes in front of, and others you can't really.
As for a traditionalist circle....well, sounds like most of them will share your toothbrush, if you know what I mean. And that takes a LOT of trust.
SO.....with that being said....
Always be truthful. Speak your mind. Speak freely. Do not disagree on points of practice or belief, because these things differ. You are the outsider, you have no reason to 'correct' practices as you see fit. Patience, openness, and tact go a long way.
If you screw up, take your lumps. Walk away, learn, shore up, and come back. Try again. But the internet is a crazy place, and making multiple accounts on multiple sites, using multiple emails, changing identities, "re-making" yourself over and over as you try to push into a place where doors keep getting slammed. Giving false credentials and making things up. These are things that really look suspicious, sneaky, and downright untrustworthy. There's a lot of reasons why those doors are closing on you. Time to step back and re-evaluate yourself. Although I do not know if it is more common within traditionalist, but even the outsiders hear the terms 'In Perfect Love, In Perfect Trust'.
And TRUST is one the main contributing factors, isn't it?
And believe me, those that ARE traditionalist, they talk together. A lot. And if they don't know. They will. They'll find out. Even on the 'inside', you have to be 'vouched' and 'vetted' to move along. Your character makes up the breadth and width of you, and those measures are taken and accounted for among your peers and elders.
The truth shall set you free. :)