Liar, liar.

I remember taking the humanities at the community college, like sociology and psychology.  One of the things that Dr. Simones used to say is that people lie to themselves, even just a little.

And we get this.  Sometimes it's what our weight or size really is, just little white lies to the brain.  Others, they're a bit more severe, like we really didn't want something bad to happen after just wishing for it.  Or we didn't wish for it, it just happened.  Whatever we can tell ourselves in a whisper to keep ourselves in a comfort zone.  Looking in the mirror, we tend to be critical, but we also tend to talk ourselves up, saying things like we haven't gained that much weight, the creases at our eyes aren't so deep, we haven't really changed all that much from high school.  Right.

I realize that intermittently, I can affect people subtlety.  I don't necessarily get the credit for it, but I do influence people, and the funny part is that I don't intend it.  Like picking up the partiality to sterling silver flatware, or the desire for the garb and dress of the renfests.  From teaching to writing to my personal thoughts on hallucinogens to tending fish tanks.  I know there are places I had a hand in thoughts.  Deny it all you want, but someone in your life that you've loved, even if that love didn't last, has affected you in some way.  The seeds of conversation plant ideas which would flourish into something not entirely unlike a thought process that loved one had, or maybe it was set adrift to form a completely different viewpoint.  Either way, a few choice words were a catalyst for something.

I have an aversion to designer drugs, flowery patterns, and turquoise plaids.  But I have picked up an affinity for house music, antiques and small, random adventures.  I love pottery, textured fabrics and enjoy designer coffees and breads.  All of my tastes, styles and thoughts have been my own, yes, but also shaped by the world, no, the people around me.

To not give them credence is laughable.  Just because I don't like someone, I'm not honorless enough not to give credit where credit is due.  Perhaps I did not really care much for my mother-in-law, but she did make sure that I got my diploma and that I walked the year I almost didn't graduate.  Doesn't mean that I have to be  bosom buddies, but it would dishonor me not to admit where I came from, so to speak.

So surround yourself with people, but don't get lost amongst them.  The ones that you invest your precious time in will shape the kind of person you are.  You are your own person, honed by the love of your company. Pick with care who you spend your time with.  You can either be like crabs in a bucket, people clinging to you to drag you down, or you can fly with your flock, the winds uplifting you all.

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