Basic human decency.

"Charlie Morgan just returned from a deployment in the Middle East and is now battling incurable stage four breast cancer. Should she not survive, her wife would be unable to access survivor benefits that she needs to take care of their five-year-old daughter. Watch our latest video & learn how DOMA harms military families: http://bit.ly/MorganVideo"

This kind of thing gets to me.  A lot.

You don't have to agree with these ladies' sexuality.  But there is something you SHOULD agree with.  And it's the freedom, no, the responsibility to treat one another with basic human decency.  With compassion, with love, and understanding.

The reason that this gets to me is that I come from a big family, and in that family, I have both a lesbian aunt and a gay uncle.  They are the most amazing people.  I love my family.  And their 'life partners' (frankly, I'd call them spouses, they've been together -forever-) are great.  I am lucky enough that my family can be accepting of them and their significant others.

But what happens if one of them passes away?

People bitch about the 'sanctity of marriage', but for the drama, craziness and complication of 'straight' marriages, frankly, it could happen with a lot of gay couples.  The world does not work differently, even if you are a little different.  People still have losses.  They have tragedies and they have accidents.  Death is no respector of persons.  

The difference is, if my husband dies, I get a huge chunk of change to make sure I can make that transition.  We've been married forever, so all his stuff 'r belongs to me'.  Not that I would know what to do with some of his junk, but I don't have to fight for it.

I've heard horror stories about gay couples though.

Imagine living with someone all your life, someone you loved dearly.  Building a life together, buying a home together, and having a white picket fence.  Your loved one dies, which is tragic because THIS PERSON was your life mate.  The one that you chose above all others.  That you would take a bullet for.

So you're grieving.  And then within a day or two, their family shows up on your doorstep. Mad as hell. 

Then they tell you that you have to leave.  Now.

All the stuff you bought together, well, your mate had the better credit, so it was bought in their name.  But now, even though it belonged to both of you, it's not yours anymore.  It belongs to the family.  Everything you worked so hard for, that you built a life together in love and beauty - torn apart, ripped up, stolen away from you and you're out on the street.

On top of the fact you just lost the love of your life.

Heart-breaking, isn't it?

But if you're straight, it doesn't generally happen that way.  Communal property, Common Law marriages.  Whatever.  But if you're gay and you never plan out your will or anything, guess what?  Your loved one can be shut out, shit on, and the rug pulled from under them.

How the hell is that fair?

You don't have to agree with a person's lifestyle.  But it is your responsibility to be compassionate, to care about the well-being of your fellow man, and to do as little damage to others as possible during your stay on this planet.

Stop being so damn judgmental.  For most religions that see homosexuality as a sin - frankly, it really isn't your job to judge them, is it?  That's for the Dude Upstairs Supreme - stop trying to take on Their responsibilities and deem yourself fit to judge other people's lifestyles.  That's between them and their Deity.  Just, in the meantime, be a decent human being and let people who love each other take care of one another.

It is one of the greatest things you can do with the least amount of effort.

No comments: