My eldest daughter has a facebook. It's okay, she's allowed. I frequently check it, constantly ask her about 'friends' on it, and harass her to the point of eyerolling.
Which, of course, is my parently duty.
But one of the recent topics of conversation, in line with our move, is there used to be this guy she liked at the old town. She doesn't really 'talk' to him like that anymore, and she's been at the new school half a year. One of our conversations kinda of went like this.
"So....are you...'going out' with anyone?"
"Mom...." She smirks.
"What's his name?"
"Nobody." She smiles.
"Okay, HER name?"
The little one pipes in, "Her?" and looks at her little sister curiously.
"Yeah, mom asks me HIM or HER. She says she doesn't care and she'll love us the same." She rolls her eyes, smiles, and the conversation continues.
And when I say it, I mean it exactly. I want to be able to show that kind of love and support to my kids. I want them to be strong in their choices, both on the field of emotions and academia. I want them to be strong women and like whatever they want to like, do whatever they want to do, and grow up with integrity and compassion. I want them to be happy, emotionally strong and comfortable in their own skins. I can't say what I'm doing is right and true, but it's the best I know how for now.
But this kind of attitude, this kind of thinking, I believe it starts with the parents. How accepting are you? What kind of standard do you set?